tired of being tired
May 27, 2007
My energy is gone. I’m running on fumes now.
I’m tired of playing games.
I’m tired of being nice.
I’m tired of waiting.
I’m tired of playing nice.
I’m tired of being the good guy.
I’m tired of being the nice guy.
I’m tired of spending myself on others.
I’m tired of being who I’ve always been.
I’m tired of saying all the right things at all the wrong times.
I’m tired of not understanding.
I’m tired of knowing too much.
I’m tired of relying on blogs to make me feel better.
I’m tired of not being able to write anything happy.
I’m tired of not getting respect from those who should respect me.
I’m tired of working harder in relationships than the other person.
I’m tired of how much this world revolves around money.
I’m tired of having such good parents.
I’m tired of suburbia.
I’m tired of long hair.
I’m tired of loving those I shouldn’t.
I’m tired of scented soaps.
I’m tired of bad comedians.
I’m tired of false friends.
I’m tired of being judged.
I’m tired of not being understood.
I’m tired of not being important to anyone.
I’m tired of not being special anymore.
I’m tired of being ignored.
I’m tired of being ignored.
I’m tired of people being nice to me.
I’m tired of people refusing to punch me in the face.
I’m tired of not being able to kill bugs.
I’m tired of religion.
I’m tired of my hot room.
I’m tired of this constant worry.
I’m tired of college.
I’m tired of video games.
I’m tired of my car being broken.
I’m tired of not being able to find someone.
I’m tired of my lack of initiative.
I’m tired of alarm clocks.
I’m tired of cell phones.
I’m tired of having to wake up.
I’m tired of not being as intuitive as I used to be.
I’m tired of seeing love everywhere but here.
I’m tired of no being in my apartment.
I’m tired of the silence.
I’m tired of pretending that maybe someday it wont be silent anymore
I’m tired of giving myself false hope.
I’m tired of being weak.
I’m tired of second guessing.
I’m tired of thinking.
I’m tired of wishing.
I’m tired of forgetting.
I’m tired of caring so much.
I’m tired of him.
I’m tired of her.
I’m tired of walking on eggshells.
I’m tired of wondering.
I’m tired of blowing up.
I’m tired of not being in control.
I’m tired of being tired.
July 11, 2008 at 9:38 am
That poem is so insightful. When you’re tired of being tired everything just seems so hard. I think the lines that really hit the spot are tired of being tired of course, but also “I’m tired of not being in control” I think as intelligent human beings that is one of the worst thing that can happen. Once you’re back in the driving seat and you’ve regained control you can make an action plan for putting your life back together. I’d like to give you some advice but without knowing more about your situation it is hard. So for now I’ll just suggest stepping back out of the stress and the ‘coiled up spring’ feeling. Take a look at what you really do want to keep in your life and what things/people make you feel worse. Maybe you know the answers to that already? I hope you stop being tired of being tired soon
October 2, 2008 at 1:35 pm
bleh, it sounds like me. personally I want to say it’s a bad case of hormones man. but I know it’s not the case. you enjoy the company of a woman who is passive aggressive, and you fear leaving her, because being miserable and stoic is worse. You fear that should you leave, you won’t find anyone else. you fear the constant strain of getting up at the AMs every morning, going to a class where the students are idiots, the teacher is either a jerk or doesn’t care about his subject. you fear, at how you are sitting there on your pc, just feeling your life drain away, reading stories at how it could be so much worse, but it feels bad enough already. being ignored when you give an answer, or bothering to care, the feelings are so reciprocated that you can’t stand it. Everything in the world just seems to pass by you, it doesn’t care or give a damn.
You, and I, fear change. not the regular change, like oh I’ll eat this instead of that, I mean like “what am I doing with my life?”
you’ll make it though, you know why? because despite all this, all the worrying all the not caring, all of the being tired, you’ll make it. because you, like me, continue to move on through the sludge that is growing up. we fall alot, and we are so tired of falling.
but we keep picking ourselves back up, to have more sludge thrown on us from either side of the swamp of uncertainty. it’s not fun, it’s not easy, but we will carry on. it’s in our nature, it’s what drives us. we don’t know what it is, but it’s there, constant beckoning us to continue, not in the teasing way like the devil, and not in the serene false hope that our optimism promises. it just says “keep going.”
keep going… keep going.
we don’t know why it says for us to do this, but it does, and we adhere to it, compelled to follow this beckoning voice.
keep going my brother, I won’t promise anything, but keep going.
we can stop when we die
January 29, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Welcome to the real world of life.
What you do to cope is what makes you who you are.
Hopefully it is for the good.
Have faith it does get better eventually.
Be thankful everyday that your feet hit the floor when you get out of bed.
Some people cannot even do that.