dont be fooled

theres a point to which you can let yourself believe
that what you are feeling is real.
after a while you gliiiiide on this layer of happiness
that you know isn’t there.
dont let yourself be tricked into thinking what is isnt
and what isnt, is.
dont be fooled its too good to be true
its too good to be true.
after the recent few months of feeling like like a shell
its still just a game.
dont pretend that you didnt know that
it will never change.
once there was a short thing and it made me so happy
but my smile was a lie.
my smile lead me to the land of broken hearts and broken dreams
then it got cold there.
after weeks and weeks i couldnt feel my toes or my soul
something got them.
i found out later someone had stolen my heart and they
wouldnt give it back.
so i just let go of it. let them keep it and got a new one.
but this one wasnt good either.
this heart has the same problems my old one did
problems like kindness.
this heart had the same problems mt old one did
like loving too easily.
i can always tell when im slipping down that hill.
begins so happy, so purely happy.
it lasts for days, weeks, maybe months or more.
and it feels so good.
i forget what its like to be sad because of her.
she wipes away my tears.
i forget how to be angry because of her.
she paints a smile on my face.
i never see it coming. its a mac truck to my face.
smashing through my ego,
its a big rig barreling through my joy,
blowing down my hosue of cards.
dont try to understand…i tried to understand
i have been fooled… to be continued.